Surviving Another Clinton Presidency

As the end of this turbulent election season is just days away, one can finally understand the logic of doomsday preppers. As the apocalypse gets closer everyday, the threat of a Hillary Clinton presidency can be felt throughout the country. While the race is close, our readers should be prepared to face a Clinton regime. The following is a list of survival tips that Americans should follow with the pantsuit aficionado in office.

1.) Hide Your Guns

Tweet from HRC proving her hatred for the Second Amendment. 

Tweet from HRC proving her hatred for the Second Amendment. 

Everyone knows, if there is anything liberals love more than killing babies, it’s taking away guns from law-abiding citizens. Under a Clinton regime, proud patriots will need to be even more concerned about the abolishment of the Second Amendment. Not only will big government fight tooth and nail to pry your beloved AK from your hands, it will inevitably become more difficult to get a gun in the first place. That pesky seven day wait to buy a gun will easily become longer, and loopholes will be harder to jump through.  

2.) Cybersecurity

Looks like it’s time to break out the tin-foil hats again, folks. With “I don’t know where the e-mails went” Clinton in the Oval Office, it will only be a matter of time before another country wipes out our grid. Without access to the internet, how would we ever know what Donald Trump thinks about the competency of other world leaders? We would truly be left in the dark.

3.) Get ready for a Russian War

If you don’t already have a bomb shelter, you might want to start construction. Although, after eight years of Obama, why wouldn’t you have one by now? Anyways, our best bet to avoid a war with Russia is to elect Trump. His complete ignorance on foreign policy would make it it possible for him to make decisions without bias. Americans would be safe, and Vladimir Putin would know that the American government supports him. It’s a win-win. But Clinton and Putin are political enemies. The last thing America needs is a commander in chief that would try and keep Russia in check. Any sign of competence in the Oval Office will surely send America tailspinning into another World War.

4.) Get Ready for our First (Hot flash) Female President

This goes without saying, but women are literally insane. While Clinton may be well past getting her monthly visitor, a woman going through menopause is an even bigger threat to national security. Do we really think it’s wise to allow a woman with hot flashes to have nuclear codes? Hillary Clinton is one mood swing away from destroying the planet. Beyond menstruation or lack thereof, what example would having a woman president send to our daughters? When young girls see strong, intelligent women breaking through the glass ceiling, it sets the bar too high for young American girls. We can’t expect all of our daughters to graduate from Yale, become a senator and eventually get to the White House.

By letting Clinton in office, we’re setting our daughters up for disappointment when they realize there’s a slim chance that they will ever have a sliver of success in their lives. Things were so much simpler before women strived to change the world. Remember the good ol’ days when all women had to worry about was not burning dinner? By telling our daughters that they’re capable of making major decisions for the world they live in, we’re really just doing them a disservice.

If we want to truly make change in this country, we’ve got to stick to the traditions we’ve always had. A woman in the White House will only produce more of the same.